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December 29, 2004

They'll Find A Way To Pin It On Bush

An imaginary conversation at the Minneapolis Star-Tribune on how they might try and pin the tsunami disaster on George W. Bush:

"If it was atmospheric, it would be a no-brainer" Managing Editor Scott Gillespie replied, "just yell 'Kyoto' and it's a done deal."

"But, this is geological. I mean, as evil as he is, I don't think even he had anything to do with this one. But no way are we going to let him off the hook." said Jim.

"Oh, no, we won't. But it's pretty clear we have to come up with an angle that makes sense." Scott answered. "Is there anything the U.S. has been doing in the last four years that could have caused a seismic disturbance of this caliber?"

"You mean like drilling for oil, or underground nuclear tests?" Asked Susan Albright, The OpEd Editor.

"Yeah, stuff like that. Or that low frequency noise the Navy uses to bother dolphins. There's lots of things our military is doing to the ground."

Susan took a sip off her Venti skim half-caf one Splenda sugar free vanilla extra hot latte. "How about something along the lines of global warming causing the ocean to be more full of water and that made the waves bigger than they should have been? That way we can nail Bush and the SUV drivers for thousands of unnecessary deaths."

Posted at 05:00 PM Pacific